Missing Parents

There is perhaps nothing more frightening to a parent than a child that has gone missing. Yet today, many parents are missing from the lives of their children. Father’s work late and come home to a house where the children are asleep and the only time they see him is when it is time to play. The absent father has emerged. Mom is gone. She is seeking a career.

Four hundred years before the birth of Jesus, the Athenian philosopher, Socrates, agonized for the children of Athens: “Could I climb the highest place in Athens, I would lift my voice and proclaim: ‘Fellow citizens, why do ye turn and scrape every stone to gather wealth and take so little care of your children to whom one day you must relinquish it all.'” Yet for all his concern this brilliant Greek had little understanding of his own responsibility. In his search for “wisdom” he largely abandoned his children and his wife, Xanthippe, to their own devices.

Fatherhood and motherhood are two responsibilities which cannot be delegated. Classroom teachers at school, government workers, etc., can’t substitute for fatherhood. More often than not, his time is dedicated to his business, his recreation, and only to those things that interest him. Some men in our generation amass fortunes and seek to buy the love of their children. Such children may develop such drug habits and lifestyles that even their big bank account cannot handle. How easy it is to let things you buy for your family take the place of giving yourself.

We will have our children at home approximately 18-20 years. If you don’t take the time now you will regret it later. “Clifton Barber of Colorado State says that while women seemed to prepare for the empty-nest syndrome and quickly got over their initial grief, men showed deep regret at not having spent more time with their children when they were younger. ‘The men felt they had blown an opportunity forever,” says Barber, ‘and during our interviews, several broke down and began to cry.'”

Working mothers have been a problem in this country. This situation is not without consequences. Children are being raised by others. Children imitate the values and manners of the caretakers who actually raised them and not the values of mom and dad. What kind of values are your children going to have? One of the greatest jobs any woman can have is to guide the Home. “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (I Tim. 5:14). I don’t believe you can prove from the Bible that a married woman absolutely cannot work outside the home. After all, it doesn’t say “keep her at home”. The “worthy woman” of Proverbs 31 did a fair amount of trade and work outside the home and was praised for it. She is the Queen of the Family – the ruler of the house and manager of daily family affairs. Older Women need to teach the younger women the importance motherhood (Tit. 2:4,5).

A magazine survey says that motherhood is the best thing about being a woman. “One thousand women nationwide were interviewed in person for the Ladies Home Journal – Roper poll published in the March issue of the magazine. No margin of error was given. Asked to name the best thing about being a woman, 60% of those surveyed answered motherhood and the percentage of women who loved having children increased with age, the Journal said”. (The Indianapolis Star [16 February 1988], p. B-8).

The joys of the motherhood can and should never be underestimated. Although her work is difficult and often thankless, the rewards are matchless. Someone has said that at the back of every great man there is always a great woman. Many great men attest to the important role their mother’s played in their lives. Abraham Lincoln said: “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

– Daniel R. Vess