Golden Arches Over Burger King

Before you read this, please keep in mind the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

A late morning wedding on a Saturday left me so hungry that by the time it was over I could have eaten the rice they threw at the bride and groom. So glad they asked me to keep the wedding ceremony short or I might have been chomping on the wedding bouquet during the exchanging of the rings. My wife felt it too. She noticed that the mother and father of the bride had to clean up after the wedding. Meanwhile while mom was off to the airport with their new dad for a honeymoon in Cancun. This left their three young grandchildren, whom they were volunteered to watch, to run wild. So my wife offered to take the three grandchildren with us to lunch.

Where do you take five (counting our two) children for a bite to eat after they are all on a sugar high from all the wedding cake? Somewhere with kid’s meals and a playground. So off to Burger King we went. After they wolfed down their happy meals, they rushed outside to climb over the colorful twisted bars connected by plastic tunnels with bubbles. The wife and I were just five minutes into some peace and quiet when all the sudden the doors from the playground burst open. All the kids came screaming and running to their parents’ tables as if they were being chased by zombies. “Mommy, Daddy, he’s peeing everywhere!” I looked up from just finishing the remnants of my fries to see Adam, the four year old boy under our charge, standing on the very apex of this playground contraption. He had his pants down to his knees and was just finishing up hosing down the playground. One small girl was curled up in one of the covered slides crying while being comforted in the arms of her big sister. At least the rain of terror was over and they were safe.

Just then my ten year old son runs up to the table to tell us what we obviously already knew. My wife ordered him to get Adam down right now and bring him straight to the table. By the time the boy came to the table my wife’s fair porcelain complexion was bright red with anger and embarrassment. Her long blond curly hair was now straight and turning gray. As the boy slowly walked up to the table, still sporting an mischievous grin, she grabbed his upper arm and pulled his face in close to her accusing finger. “Adam, what do you think you are doing. That is not how you are suppose to behave. What would your grandmother say about this?” You could feel the eyes and ears of every patron of the fast food restaurant focused on the scene. So next she pushed him in my direction and said, “I am so angry with him I cannot even talk. You deal with him!” Clutching his other arm I pulled the stunned four year old to my side of the table. “Now, Adam, surely you know better than to do that at Burger King. After all, everyone knows that its McDonald’s that had the golden arches.” I really thought the horrible situation could use a little levity. The look my wife shot me was loud enough to drown out the laughter pouring in from all sides from the previously horrified parents.

So while my wife calmed down (or at least shifted her anger from Adam to me), I marched the little man to the restroom to clean up. In the mean time, the employees put on their hazmat suits, roped off the playground with crime scene tape, and began the less than envious job of cleaning and disinfecting. As little boys mature they learn there is a proper place and time for various activities. Those serving God need to also mature in this area as well. When God gave Jeroboam the northern ten tribes of Israel, He promised him, “then it shall be, if you heed all that I command you, walk in My ways, and do what is right in My sight, to keep My statutes and My commandments, as My servant David did, then I will be with you and build for you an enduring house, as I built for David, and will give Israel to you” (1 Kings 11:38). However, Jeroboam did not trust God to be able to keep His promise. He said in his heart, ‘Now the kingdom may return to the house of David: If these people go up to offer sacrifices in the house of the Lord at Jerusalem, then the heart of this people will turn back to their lord, Rehoboam king of Judah, and they will kill me and go back to Rehoboam king of Judah’” (1 Kings 12:26,27). After seeking the advice of mere men, he went against the commandments of God and “made two calves of gold, and said to the people, ‘It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem. Here are your gods, O Israel, which brought you up from the land of Egypt!’ And he set up one in Bethel, and the other he put in Dan. Now this thing became a sin, for the people went to worship before the one as far as Dan” (1 Kings 12:28-30). For the rest of the history of the northern Kingdom of Israel the people went to the wrong place to worship (either Dan or Bethel whichever was more convenient) instead of Jerusalem. Not only did he changed the place of worship, “Jeroboam ordained a feast on the fifteenth day of the eighth month, like the feast that was in Judah, and offered sacrifices on the altar. So he did at Bethel, sacrificing to the calves that he had made. And at Bethel he installed the priests of the high places which he had made. So he made offerings on the altar which he had made at Bethel on the fifteenth day of the eighth month, in the month which he had devised in his own heart. And he ordained a feast for the children of Israel, and offered sacrifices on the altar and burned incense” (1 Kings 12:32,33). Until the day the ten tribes were carried off into Assyrian captivity, they continued to worship at the wrong place at the wrong time. This was done in total disregard to the warnings sent to them by God through various prophets. They never repented.

Adam learned the proper place and time for relieving his bladder. But what motivated him to play fireman on the playground that day? My guess is that he felt he was being neglected by everyone who had been busy preparing for a wedding and wanted some attention. The Bible is filled with God’s children acting out and getting His attention. However, since we are already focused on Jeroboam, he will serve well as an example. He not only got the attention of the people for several generations, his actions were noticed by God.

One day Abijah, the son of Jeroboam, became very ill. The king told his wife to disguise herself and go up and inquire of the prophet of God, Ahijah. God told the prophet, she was coming. Ahijah sent the queen back with this Divine message to the King:

Thus says the Lord God of Israel: “Because I exalted you from among the people, and made you ruler over My people Israel, 8 and tore the kingdom away from the house of David, and gave it to you; and yet you have not been as My servant David, who kept My commandments and who followed Me with all his heart, to do only what was right in My eyes; 9 but you have done more evil than all who were before you, for you have gone and made for yourself other gods and molded images to provoke Me to anger, and have cast Me behind your back— 10 therefore behold! I will bring disaster on the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam every male in Israel, bond and free; I will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as one takes away refuse until it is all gone. 11 The dogs shall eat whoever belongs to Jeroboam and dies in the city, and the birds of the air shall eat whoever dies in the field; for the Lord has spoken!”’ 12 Arise therefore, go to your own house. When your feet enter the city, the child shall die. 13 And all Israel shall mourn for him and bury him, for he is the only one of Jeroboam who shall come to the grave, because in him there is found something good toward the Lord God of Israel in the house of Jeroboam. (1 Kings 13:8-13)

Jeroboam’s dynasty did not last. God punished him and all the kings of Israel who failed to return to Him and behave according to His will.

Many years have past since the day when Adam did the wrong thing at the wrong place and time just to get some attention. The playground was eventually torn down when the new owners turned the fast food restaurant into a donut shop, Later it became a dry cleaners, and finally a place to buy cellular phones. Yet whenever I tell this story about the day there were golden arches over Burger King, my wife still gives me the look. She also reminds me that not only do the golden arches belong at McDonalds, but so does the clown.

– Daniel R. Vess

News & Notes

● Morning’s Lesson: Plexiglass Pulpit Preaching
● Contribution Scripture: Matt. 6:19-21
● Tonight is our monthly worship service focused on singing.
● Sign up sheets for Building cleaning and Communion Preparation are located in the foyer.
● We are thankful for Martha Fontenot’s return